Cease and desist

April 1 2009.

Disclaimer: Salty language appears in the text below.

This is fucked up in so many ways, new orifices should be invented to accomodate the surplus of fuckedupness. Back in September, I claimed I invented the word "internetically" even though searching for it yielded 3280 results. Obviously a joke.

Not a joke for Captain Douchey McLegalCounsel and the dicktip venture capital firm he represents. I received this yesterday:

Mr. Jeff Weir

Dear Sir,

Re: The trademarked name "Internetically"

I am Legal Counsel to Endeavor Venture Capital Partners LLC. It has come to our attention that you are reproducing and claiming ownership without authorization on your web site: www.windowseat.ca: the trademarked name "Internetically", comprising the word "Internetically" without proper trademark attribution; as well as claim to ownership and inventorship on 23 September 2008 (ref: http://www.windowseat.ca/item.php?id=484).

The name "Internetically" is protected under the Copyright Act and cannot be reproduced without prior authorization. Such authorization was neither sought nor given, and your website is infringing it, in so far as it threatens future use by Endeavor Venture Capital Partners LLC.

We therefore request that you immediately cease and desist from displaying the name "Internetically" and your claim to ownership of its invention.

(signed)

Ian Patrick Freily
Legal Counsel to Endeavor Venture Capital Partners LLC

Clearly Endeavor Venture Capital Partners LLC is unfamiliar with the Internet. Let me break it down for you: The Internet is 2% business, 8% spite, and 90% porn.

Given anonymity and an audience, people will write things they'd never dare say in real life. And more than a hojillion people are doing it. Will EVCP hunt down each instance (3280) on the web and send them a cease and desist letter? Or will they just send one to the one person who will write an inflammatory blog post? How many people claim they invented the Nike swoosh? Probably a fuckload more than the one person who claims he invented the word "Internetically."

The most obvious recourse would be editing or removing my original post. But why should I do that? Do they really have a case? Seems like cyberbullying to me.

A cursory search for "Endeavor Venture Capital Partners LLC" and "internetically" brought me to internetically.org. Nothing more than a digital territorial pissing care of EVCP. No content, no IP. Just a shitty Web 2.0 graphic and a promise of awesome things to come. I'm sure they've got a few paradigms queued up, ready to shift. Like, online bookmarks - SHARED WITH YOUR FRIENDS!!! Or... online photos - SHARED WITH YOUR FRIENDS!!! Or... online friends - SHARED WITH YOUR FRIENDS!!!

Internetically.org, I spit in your talentless no-hope-for-acquisition-by-google-microsoft-or-even-yahoo face.

UPDATE
11:26 PM April 1 2009: After a long sincere chat with I.P. Freily, we've come to understand one another's perspective. Turns out it was all an April Fool's joke. Endeavor Venture Capital Partners LLC doesn't exist. Nor does I.P. Friely. Nor does internetically.org. Ha ha ha.

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